MY JOURNEY TO REDEMPTION



Hosea 6:1

Come and let us return to the Lord

For He has torn, but He will heal us;

He has stricken, but He will bind us up








We cannot do great things on this earth, only small things with great love - Mother Teresa

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

WHY I LEFT THE PINK CROSS FOUNDATION, PART 1 - MY STORY




In almost every epistle in the New Testament, the subject of false prophets is addressed. If it is not addressed directly, the philosophies that they espoused are touched on. In his second epistle, the apostle Peter describes false prophets, who through covetousness “exploit people with deceptive words” (vs. 3), and “walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, despising authority, and are presumptuous and self-willed” (vs. 10).

These are the character traits of a false prophet. Many of us have read the Bible passages that address false prophets – probably many times over. I know I did. I thought that I knew what a false prophet was, and what to look for. I never expected that I would ever be working full-time for one, or that I would be so deceived, putting my own expectations above what the Bible clearly reveals about them. Through my recent experience with the Pink Cross Foundation, I experienced first-hand what it is that people who are taken in by false prophets, and counterfeit ministries, go through. The following is part 1 of a series of blogs in which I will attempt to explain just why I left Pink Cross, and some of the disturbing things I experienced while serving in Bakersfield. I will begin with my own personal experience.

The Bible talks a lot about what to look for in a false prophet, but what happens to those people who become deceived?! In my own case, I was violated, hurt, betrayed, and taken advantage of – not just emotionally, but spiritually as well. This is my account of my time as an employee of the Pink Cross Foundation, the events that transpired, and the aftermath of a very empty and traumatic period in my life.

By the end of June of last year, and I was at an all-time low. Not only was I financially destitute, getting kicked out of my home and about to lose my car, but I was struggling with severe depression, and the worst part – I was completely alone. Eight months earlier, I had packed up everything and basically dropped my whole life to move out to Bakersfield to work full-time for Pink Cross Foundation. Like anyone else starting out in ministry, I was overwhelmed with anticipation and excitement about the things that God was about to do in my life. In my mind, and in my heart, I was expecting to see an amazing work of God, and was thrilled to be a part of it. By the end of my 8 months in Bakersfield, I was confused, hurt, and spiritually exhausted. What I was expecting to be an amazing experience serving God turned out to be a time of great distress, full of broken promises, spiritual confusion, heartache, and loneliness that I never would have imagined could be possible in ministry. I knew and understood that ministry had its share of spiritual warfare, but what I experienced in Bakersfield was not spiritual warfare, but spiritual confusion....and the ministry partners whom I was to engage in warfare with were often nowhere to be found....that is because the ministry team of Pink Cross were not a “team” at all. In a real ministry team, the team members are there to serve God, and to support one another. It was not like that with Pink Cross. The group of individuals I worked with were not there for one another, but for Shelley Lubben. It was not about God. It was about the vision of Shelley Lubben, and pleasing her. Shelley Lubben made this very clear in a letter in which she states that our ministry was to "hold her up."

I left Bakersfield financially and spiritually destitute, having nothing to show for my time there and feeling completely betrayed and let down by my ministry partners. I was beyond broken. Here is my story.


I first met Shelley Lubben and her husband, Garret, back in 2007. I came across her website and began posting on her message board, about my experience in the industry and some of the issues that I, as an ex-performer, had to deal with. She immediately contacted me and said that she wanted to get to know me more. I was so excited to hear from her. Having another Christian to talk to about the kinds of things that I went through was like a breath of fresh air. We e-mailed back and forth a few times, then I met her and her husband Garrett for sushi in L.A. It was at this meeting that she disclosed to me that she wanted to start a non-profit ministry to reach out to other men and women who have been hurt by porn. I thought it sounded like a great idea. She helped me design my MySpace page and encouraged me to publish my testimony, which she personally proofread and edited. She sent the edited version back to me, in which she had cut out a couple of things -- details that I suppose would have made me look less like a victim. I wanted to share EVERYTHING that led up to my time in the industry. I realized that some of these things would probably put me in a negative light, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be completely honest in my account. Shelley Lubben is not stupid, and she removed those things that would have put me in a negative light.

After Pink Cross was established as a 501(c)(3), I volunteered in various capacities. I helped with events and outreaches, and moderated on the Pink Cross forums.

In October of 2010, Shelley Lubben contacted me via e-mail and told me that Pink Cross wanted to hire me. This was no surprise. For several months beforehand, Shelley had tried to convince me several times to quit my job and move to Bakersfield to help Pink Cross. I had the desire to, but I had concerns about my financial situation and my daughter. I knew that my main responsibility was to her. I was still trying to get back on my feet, and desperately wanted to make a home for her so that she could eventually come live with me. So, I continuously declined Shelley’s offer – but when she contacted me in October, offering me a salary of $25,000/yr., and a position as her “executive assistant,” I figured that this was God opening a door for ministry. Shelley promised me the world. She told me that I was training to take over for her as president of Pink Cross, and that I would eventually be making more money as Pink Cross became more established.

Shelley painted a rosy picture, but my main concern was reaching out to hurting women, and this is why I decided to accept her offer. I wanted to make a difference. I told Shelley yes, quit my job, and packed up and moved to Bakersfield. By this time, I had been ordained as a chaplain, by Shelley, and I thought I saw God’s hand in this situation. Although Shelley said and did many things that I did not agree with (which I will address later in this blog), I went along because I truly believed in the mission of Pink Cross, even though she often told me that a person should never question a person in leadership.

So, against my better judgment, I packed up my life and moved to Bakersfield. Things began to turn sour almost from the very beginning. I hadn’t even been in Bakersfield for 2 months when Shelley e-mailed me and told me that she could no longer afford to pay me what she had promised. In an e-mail, she said that donations were down, and she had “not really put enough thought into” what she agreed to pay me, and unfortunately had to cut my salary – not only mine, but that of another Pink Cross employee – by a substantial amount. For Shelley, it was no big deal, but for me, it was huge. I was already struggling financially with what Pink Cross was paying me, but this pay cut made it almost impossible for me to support myself. Because I was on salary, I was expected to work the same amount of hours. Shelley suggested that I get a part-time job in order to supplement my income, but this was not realistic. As her “executive assistant,” I was expected to attend ministry events, and accompany her to speaking engagements, which necessitated my being out-of-town for days at a time.

Indeed, when I was employed with Pink Cross, great emphasis was put on money. It was ALWAYS about money and donations with Shelley, and it put enormous stress on me. In December of 2011, Shelley sent an “urgent message” to the Pink Cross team, telling us that donations were way down, and that if we did not step up to the plate, and work harder raising funds, she would have to stop paying us altogether. I took this as a threat. She explained to us that our position as Pink Cross employees were impingent upon our ability to raise funds. This took me by surprise, as fund-raising was NEVER brought up as a requirement for employment in her initial e-mail to me. Now, she was telling me that fund-raising was an essential duty as a Pink Cross employee. While I understand that raising funds is essential to Christian ministry, NONE of this was mentioned in her initial job description, or offer of employment. Fund-raising is definitely not my forte, and if I had known it was a major part of my job description, I might not have even accepted her offer. Either way, at this point, I was stuck, so I did all I could to help with fund-raising. This now became the central focus of my ministry.

I kept hoping that Shelley would see my financial situation and offer to help me, but that never happened. Shelley and Garrett lived in luxury, yet they could not afford to help me. We were told not even to approach her with our financial problems, but to trust God, as she was too busy battling Satan and “thousands of demons” to worry about our problems.

Shelley would continually boast about how the Lord had blessed her, and her family, because they were special to God and mighty warriors for Him. Meanwhile, I was contemplating going on food stamps. Eventually, I did.

In January of 2011, Jenni Case (one of the girls that Pink Cross reached out to and helped years earlier) re-located from Colorado to Bakersfield, California, and moved into my 2-bedroom apartment with me. I initially got a 2-bedroom because Shelley was hoping that another ex-pornstar might come and live with me, and that we could reach out to her. When that fell through, I suggested that Jenni move in, as she was having a very hard time and was very discouraged with her job situation in Colorado. I asked Jenni if she would like to move in, she jumped at the chance.

In February, I accompanied Shelley on a speaking engagement to Cambridge. Shortly after we returned, I expressed to Shelley and Garrett my desire to go on a 2-week mission trip, reaching out to prostituted women in Israel. I almost didn’t ask, for fear of what Shelley’s reaction might be. Shelley was very controlling. I saw how Shelley went off on another Pink Cross employee, for over an hour, for wanting to go out of town for Christmas and New Year’s holiday, demoralizing him and telling him that he was abandoning her and Pink Cross. In spite of this, I asked anyhow. I figured that 10 months was adequate notice, and that the most they could say was “no.” So, I e-mailed Shelley and told her about the trip, and my desire to go. A few days later, Garrett e-mailed me telling me that they didn’t want to stand in the way of my “missions calling,” and decided to demote me from a full-time to a part-time employee, and paid an hourly wage “to be determined.”

It was at this time that they told me not to come to the office any more. Instead, they had Jenni come over there every day for training, which consisted of doing the duties that they previously had me doing. Without being told directly, I was basically being replaced by Jenni, who was now deemed the “Pink Cross Recovery Specialist.” I was told that I would no longer be reaching out to the women, as that was now Jenni’s job. This absolutely broke my heart, as this was my whole motive for moving to Bakersfield in the first place – to reach out to the women in the industry.

It all came to a head when Shelley called me and told me to come to an emergency meeting at her house. I had been sick for a few days, but Shelley said she didn’t care – that I needed to get out of bed and come over to the house. Apparently, Jenni had expressed to Shelley about how miserable she was living with me. Shelley, Garrett, and Jenni confronted me, in front of Roger. I didn’t know what to say. It was a very strange meeting. I remember Shelley coaxing Jenni into airing all of her grievances in front of everybody, in that room. After Jenni was done, Shelley turned to me and told me to tell them all of the problems that I had with Jenni. I told her that I had absolutely no problems with Jenni (which I did, but I really didn’t feel that it was the proper time or place). It was then that Shelley told me that she didn’t really need an executive assistant, and that Jenni would be coming over to the house from now on instead of me. She told me that I needed to get psychiatric help.

Regarding my duties with Pink Cross, my primary task from now on was to raise funds (which I had absolutely NO experience with), work on the forums (which I did before as a volunteer), and whatever else I could think of to do. I was no longer involved in writing newsletters or blogs, like I had been before – and if I did write something, Shelley just rejected or rewrote most of it. I basically had no job duties. I was no longer allowed to come to the office to work, because I was slowly being distanced from Shelley and the rest of the Pink Cross team. I had very little contact with Shelley and Garrett, aside from weekly reports that I sent Garrett.

Having been removed from my position, and my uncertainty regarding my role with Pink Cross, I started slipping into a deep depression. When I would try to contact the team members for support, my calls were never returned. I felt distanced and isolated from the team, including my roommate Jenni. I felt left out, without purpose, and had no idea what my place was on the team.

To make matters worse, I had absolutely no one to talk to. I didn’t know anyone in Bakersfield, and I was told by Shelley and Melanie, another team member, that I was not to talk to anyone else outside of the team about Pink Cross-related stuff. They said that we were in such intense spiritual warfare, and that no one outside of the team would understand. According to them, pornographers were watching our every move, and if we confided in anyone, or did anything like post on facebook, that we would be giving pornographers ammunition to attack us, and bring down the ministry.

Looking back, I realize how ridiculous this all was. I do believe that this was Shelley’s way of controlling us, and keeping everything hush-hush. I was only allowed to talk to people inside the Pink Cross circle.
The problem with this was, whenever I wanted to talk with anyone on the team, no one was ever available. When I asked Jenni if she could come home from work and spend the evening with me, she told me I was being selfish, that she had a son to worry about, and that I shouldn’t be so demanding. It was at that moment I realized this was not a team, but a collection of self-serving individuals.

Most of my time was spent at home, on the computer. The more time I spent alone, the more depressed I became. I had no friends, no real job, and no purpose. I asked the Lord to give me clarity regarding the situation, but my depression was all I could think about. The fact that no one on the team seemed to care about me or my situation made it worse. Even though I was at home basically doing nothing, I continued to collect a check from Pink Cross. This brought guilt into the mix, as I knew that the check I was collecting, for basically doing nothing, was hard-earned money donated by people who believed in the mission of Pink Cross. In taking money for basically doing nothing, I felt almost like I was stealing from good, honest donors. After about 2 months, I stepped down. I could no longer, in good conscience, accept money that I was not working for, and I did not see myself as a part of Pink Cross anymore. In all honesty, I have no idea why they even kept me on staff. So, I sent Garrett my resignation letter, explaining that I had a daughter to think about, and the whole thing was just too much to handle. I did not go into detail regarding my feelings about taking donor money for basically doing nothing, because I was so worn out from my experience with Pink Cross, and my emotional state at that time, that I just tried to avoid confrontation altogether. I knew that they would try to pin the blame on me.

The remainder of my time in Bakersfield was spent trying to secure a job and deal with the enormous financial strain that I was under. I would have to borrow money just to pay the rent. Shelley told me that she loved me and desperately wanted me to remain in Bakersfield, to volunteer with Pink Cross, yet she refused to help me financially. She was being very unrealistic. Even after everything that transpired, I still believed in Shelley and wanted to volunteer with Pink Cross. Even so, I knew in my heart this was not where the Lord wanted me. Nothing was working out.

My final day in Bakersfield ended with Garrett and I yelling at each other on the front lawn of their home. I won’t go into detail about the specifics of the argument, but let me just quote from God’s Word:

John 3:17 But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?

33 comments:

  1. My only question is... "What's next for you?" You obviously have a talent for reaching out to porn stars...

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  2. Because you had a negative experience, does not make tis foundation bad, or sinister, or that she's a false prophet. Evey follower of Christ is hurt AT any given time in the best of churches. Its a consequence of being human. All leaders make mistakes.
    Yes, you did have a terrible experience, but that CERTAINLY does not make HER a false prophet. What she is doing is a hard, and complicate ministry. Bound to make mistakes, as all humans have a right to make.

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    1. Pagina, excuse me. How dare you tell us that Shelley is not a false prophet. I have dealt with her personally, and I got out asap. She most certainly IS A FALSE PROPHET. SHELLEY is the one who needs psychiatric help!
      April, I look forward to reading more. I know that you know that God will turn this tragedy around. I love you, girl. Keep on keeping on. xoxo

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  3. Thank you for your response. Please understand that this is only part 1 of my blog. I am not saying that she is a false prophet because I have had a bad experience, but because of other factors which I plan to address in the other parts of my blog post. This part 1 was just an account of why I left, which I decided to write in response to people continually asking me why I left.

    Please, also note that I was not the only one hurt by Pink Cross. Other women have come out with their accounts, as well. Does the fact that someone is in a difficult ministry give them the right to hurt others?

    You will understand why I believe her to be a false prophet when you read the rest of my blog, which will be based on Scriptural evidence and definitions of what a false prophet is.

    I do hope that you will stick around and read the rest.

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  4. Wow, what a terrible experience you had with Lubben! I'm so sorry. Thanks for telling the truth--I had no idea. I contributed to Pink Cross once in the past, but never again! May God be with you and help you as you recover from the awful wounds you experienced with PC!

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  8. I'm going to interject here. I have served with this group,along with April. I have seen 1st hand,how this group operates as well. And what April shares is the truth. I have had talks with her & others whom I have had calls from the other people. Who were harmed by this group & the leader.

    And its not good ! its not good for a leader to not have any accountablility. Nor the backing of a church, And for the leader to say "WE DON'T NEED THE BACKING OF THE CHURCH,SINCE THE CHURCH IS ALL CORRUPT - WE ARE THE CHURCH". But she still charges a fee to appear, & speak in these churches,or conferences,television shows. That she calls corrupt. many of these churches & the Leadership need to do a background about this group. (show a some discernment please)

    But they (churches & leaders) don't do their homework about this lady & her group,(but they should)... Since this group is run by this leader, who says she doesn't need to answer to anybody. And if you question her authority you get demonized, & it gets blasted by her & her people.
    That those who are demonized are serving the devil,which is not cool & if you go against her or disagree & or you might get the ugly stick of Judgement. And that if you do serve, your serving her & that you are submitting to her authority(Self serving attitude),And thats sounds very cult like to me. It shows an Authoritarion style in the way the leader of the group handles things. Many may not agree,of this blog or of my comments & thats fine.

    But let me tell you something, for many of you,who have heard of this group or seen their Youtube videos of just the leader talking,& on TV or on a radio show or you may get their Newsletters..

    People from the outside, Don't know these people like we do, & we have seen it, we have seen the intent, of seeking after fame,gimmicks being used, the pride, & the mentality (sometimes Legalistic,Hyper-Charismatic)of the people in this group, & its not edifying, but controlling, & manipulation on the women whom they try to coerce or so-called helped.

    But thats MHO..And I support April in this blogpost.

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    1. Yes, Johnny, we have seen it firsthand. Your post is right on.
      Much love,
      Darci

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  9. I quit supporting Pink Cross the moment April left.

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  10. There are always two sides to a story, and, unfortunately, much of what you have said could come down to "he said", "she said", which cannot be proved. However, any Christian leader that tells you that your first priority is to "hold them up" and who claims they are too busy "fighting Satan and 1000's of demons" is a kook and a cult leader. The fact is believers hold up Jesus Christ, He alone is Lord, God and Savior. And even a cursory reading of Ephesians 6 will teach you that WE DO NOT FIGHT SATAN AND HIS DEMONS, that's God's job, our job is to simply “stand firm in Christ” (this is repeated over and over again in Eph. 6:10-24). There are no offensive weapons in the Christian's armor, only defensive weapons. Even the sword of the Spirit is a defensive weapon. It is the tiny "machira" a small sword used in defense. it is not the "romphira" a large offensive broadsword. It exults our egos to think that we, ourselves, do battle with Satan and his demonic hordes, but not even the Arch Angel Michael presumed to do that (Jude 1:9). It is vital that all Christians know the word of God, and that they hold their leaders accountable to it. Unfortunately, the contemporary Church in America is full of loons and shysters making a prophet of the ignorance and gullibility of many believers. Just saying “Jesus loves you” does not make you a Christian and it certainly doesn’t qualify anyone to be a leader. The best defense against this kind of cultic mentality is to inform your mind by reading the full council of God. I’m encouraged that the Pink Cross ministry donations were down, maybe people are reading their bibles and exercising a little discernment. Also, congratulations on turning from the porn industry and to Christ, that is an extraordinarily difficult task. Actually, its impossible without the drawing of Christ. It also looks like you are moving from being a babe in Christ to a mature believer. I’m sure God has wonderful things planned for you. God Bless.

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    1. Pink Cross IS a cult, Gilgamesh. This thing about being demonized by Shelley is a dangerous thing, and it must stop. Shame on Shelley Luben.

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  11. So sorry for everyone involved who feels mis-treated and disrespected. It takes plenty of courage to learn to stand up and to tell it like it is whenever necessary. Truth must come out so people can know that which is hidden.

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  13. It's sad to say but I've seen more than one situation happen like this in several ministries. I do sympathize with you April, yet there is one thing I'd like to be clear on. Shelley stated on Facebook earlier that you've "partnered with members of the porn industry". Can you explain what she may mean by that?

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  14. I have not seen the other side, but I believe every word of it.

    For about 2.5 years, I have felt a calling to get into this sort of ministry. I have watched Pink Cross since that time to see how they operate. I have WANTED to donate... but something always held me back.

    I have sensed the spirit of the false prophet and a corrupt organization from the beginning. I have never felt a peace about donating or in any way becoming involved, no matter how much I really wanted to.

    I watched videos, read articles, listened to interviews.... and I kept seeing and smelling rotten fruit.

    Every single thing said here lines up COMPLETELY with the discerning 'vibe' if you will that I have received every single time I have attempted to find Pink Cross as a sound ministry. THESE are the red flags I was seeing and hearing that wouldn't let me proceed.

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I absolutely believe it to be true by the same discerning spirit that kept me at a distance from Pink Cross over these last couple of years.

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  15. April, thank you for sharing your experiences with the Pink Cross organization. I remember seeing your video testimony and those of many, many others and it opened my eyes to how truly vile the porn industry is. THANK YOU SOOOO much for your courage!! I was so negatively affected by porn growing up, and everyone who has been hurt by it is so grateful for your testimony and honestly.

    I'm so sorry that you have to feel this way and go through this. I'm 22 years old, and I have spent the past few years following and analyzing false teachers and cult leaders. While the Pink Cross and it's resources have been very useful to me, I couldn't help but feel alarmed by some of the things in Shelly's book where she tells her life story. There seems to be a lack of discernment and a preoccupation with the spirit realm. Also, the fact that her first church was "Champion Center." The theology, based on what she described, seemed to be more based on leadership principles rather than the Gospel.

    I actually wanted to ask you about this. 20 minutes ago, Shelly Lubben post this on facebook: "Please be VERY careful not to be hurtful to April Garris as the pornographer she works with is threatening on her page to deal harshly with anyone who defames April. Please only kindly ask her to give Pink Cross back their page and if not, please report it to Facebook. I'm saddened this has to be so ugly publicly and I apologize."

    What on earth does she mean by, "the pornographer she is working with?"

    Based on your blog, it seems you are a bible-believing Christian, and it does not seem phony at all. When Shelly says something like this, what or who is she referring to?

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  17. & you think keeping access to a web page which isn't yours is a Christian act of 'integrity'? You're simply self assassinating your own character, quite laughable really, throw yourself a pity party because Jesus did that all the time....NOT, grow up.

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  18. Yo, April this is a hard thing that you went through. But you got to do the basics on this issue, WWJD.

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  19. Yes, unfortunately, while I agree with what you are doing in sharing your testimony, you are opening yourself up to criticism by keeping their FB page. You could make your own and place tags on it so people will find your testimony. :DDD

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  20. Thank you to everyone for responding. I would like to comment on the statement that I have "partnered with members of the porn industry." This, too, is an inaccurate statement. When Shelley says that I have "partnered with the porn industry," she is referring to my friend Michael Whiteacre, an attorney who is involved with the Free Speech coalition and is an advocate for the industry. I have no contact with ANYONE else in the industry.

    Michael and I made contact after the situation involving Maddie surfaced, as I spoke up in support of her. Michael KNOWS that I do NOT support pornography, and has always respected that. In fact, whenever he quotes me, he ALWAYS makes sure to mention that I am AGAINST porn. He has never ridiculed or attacked me for my Christian faith, or for my stance against pornography. On the contrary, he has been very respectful of my Christian beliefs, as he himself is Jewish and believes in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

    Because Michael has come against Shelley, and questioned many of her claims, she has managed to demonize him in the minds of many Christians, which I personally feel is sad. I admit, while I was working for Shelley, I also saw Michael in the same evil light. I believed Shelley's word that he was anti-God and demon-possessed. Having come to know him personally, I realize this is not the case.

    That being said, I will NEVER condone or support pornography, as it is sin and destructive to people and families. Even so, I will follow the example of Christ, whom the Bible says was a "friend of sinners and tax collectors." I refuse to play the Pharisee in cutting myself off from people that the Lord has brought into my path, just because they may be doing things that I may consider sinful or corrupt. I have had Christians comment that I have turned my back on the Lord for befriending Michael. My response is, as a Christian and a decent human being, how can I NOT be a friend to him, even if I may disagree with his views or his involvement in porn? Did Jesus turn His back on ANYONE?!

    He actually came down on the false teachers with a lot more vengeance than He EVER did "sinners."

    I have not "aligned myself with the porn industry," as Shelley claims. Everyone knows I am against porn.

    I find it ironic that Shelley would demonize me for befriending Michael, when Shelley herself has befriended and supports Ron Jeremy, who has been involved in a LOT more porn than Whiteacre and continues to support the industry. In no way am I jusging Ron Jeremy, but am pointing out the hypocrisy of Lubben's accusations.

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  21. I am so torn by reading all of this. April I do not doubt for one second that you truly love the Lord and I have been hurt in the same way (to a point) by the church that I was born again and discipled in. I was delivered out of the Adult Entertainment industry 19 yrs ago and I know the hurt and healing that goes along with the aftermath. I am in an awesome church 10 yrs now and I am in ministry reaching out to women still trapped. I have to admit this is hard to digest and not that I think she or any other human can do no wrong because we are all sinners saved by grace and I follow Jesus not people. All I can say is this regardless of right wrong or indifferent I am praying foe employment and stability for you and that you and your daughter are reunited and that God's will and calling in your life comes to pass. God Bless you sister April and I am praying for you!!

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  23. No, Roy. I did not delete anything. Unlike Shelley Lubben, I do not delete comments, even ifd they may be critical of mine.

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  24. porn rocks so fuck off god botherer

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  25. Hi April. I want to work for the same cause and I think I can help. Couldn't find your email on the website so please get in touch with me at anirudhsardiwal@gmail.com

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  26. May the Lord God bless you and keep you. May God in His great mercy provide for all your needs and may you continue to trust in Him. Amen.

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  27. hi pls never be sad.i m from india.a country of religion .my email is pateldevendra411@gmail.com

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  28. conquer the depression stress fear
    raise up
    stand up mentally emotioninlly physicaly
    be like a lion fearless .pls pls stand up bring changes in life

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